BECOMING A PARENT

In this ‘chapter’ of my Parenting blog, I will be sharing with you:

· Part 1 - Finding out I am pregnant
· Part 2 - Getting organised and ready
· Part 3 - Welcoming this amazing new human and the first 3 months.

PART 1 - FINDING OUT I AM PREGNANT
There are many different situations and circumstances that lead up to finding out that we are pregnant. It could be planned, it could be a surprise, we could feel too young or too old, we could be prepared or feel unprepared, we could be ready and feel supported or not ready and totally unsupported. Whatever your situation the fact remains, you are pregnant.
I have found most parents, including myself, that have got confirmation that they are now ‘growing’ a little person, are presented with a set of thoughts and questions. These can include:

· Am I being healthy enough?
· Am I going to have enough resources, time, money, support and the like?
· When do I tell everyone?
· Will I go full term?
· Will the baby be ok?
· How long can I keep working? (if you are working)
· Will this affect my work and the way my employer treats me?
· How can I watch my weight gain?
· When to go back to work after birth?
· What sort of parent do I want to be?
· Am I ready for this?
· What type of pregnancy care do I want?
· I am getting too much advice/not enough advice from well meaning people?
· Do I go out and buy a library of books and magazines on the subject??

From my experience I will share with you my thoughts on these.

Am I healthy enough? The answer to this will vary depending on your current health status and circumstances. I have found the general rule is to eat smaller meals, instead of 3 times a day, possibly 5 times a day. If you are experiencing morning sickness you may feel this is impossible; however there are always opportunities to have small portions to replenish your system. Eat fresh food as much as possible, even some organic selections. Lots of leafy greens and yellow vegetables, and a couple of pieces of fruit. Drink water where possible and avoid sugary and high caffeine drinks. Include servings of food that include calcium, protein, carbohydrates, and vitamin c, iron and whole grains each day.
Exercise is also important, depending again on what you were doing before you were ‘expecting’, you can keep doing this with approval from your Doctor, or take up a light alternative, possibly walking.

Am I going to have enough resources, time, money, support and the like? Even though this question may play on your mind, it is not something to consider right now. For the first couple of weeks of finding out you can focus more on just accepting that this is a new beginning for you and how wonderful you are to be creating this.

When do I tell everyone? This question can only be answered by you. You may want to tell everyone immediately or hold off for the first 3 months. You and your partner may have differing ideas on this. You may want to tell important people in your life first. This is completely up to you; there is no right or wrong time.

Will I go full term/will the baby be ok? These are questions best put to your chosen practitioner or specialist. Whilst many well meaning people who love you would like to answer these questions for you, it is your body, your experience and your ‘expert’ is the best person to direct these questions to.

Work?? During the 1st trimester this is usually an area (depending on your work of course) that you do not immediately need to address. Start thinking about ideas and scenarios that you would like to play out, see what each entails in detail. This will allow you to make a fully informed decision, knowing all the pros and cons when it is time to share your plan.

What sort of parent do I want to be/Am I ready for this? There are many variables to this question for example; your situation, your support, do you want to parent like your parents, you definitely don’t want to parent like your parents, you admire your friends and their parenting styles, you work, you don’t work, you have no one to model your parenting on.

Whatever your situation, sit down and ask yourself:-
· What is important to me in my life now?
· What do I feel is important when parenting?
· What do I want my child/ren to see me like?
· What qualities do I admire in others who are parents?
· How do I look after my wellbeing, so I can be a good parent?
· How do I learn more about parenting?
· What do I want my child/ren to see as important?
· How can I be addressing my needs, my home and work responsibilities as well as the needs of my child/ren easily each day?
· How can my child/ren feel a part of their bigger family unit?

As you consider these questions, you may come up with others. I find it helpful to journal my ideas and go back over them to compile a list of what it is I really want and why. I also find it helpful to focus on what I do want, not what I don’t.

The most valuable resource I found during my pregnancies was a book called What to Expect When you’re Expecting. It provided a step by step guide as well as amazing insights and shared thoughts. With this book I felt fully prepared with each one, even though they were all very different experiences.
I have also found recently this amazing service offered in Brisbane Qld, Embracing Motherhood, http://www.embracingmotherhood.com/.

These insights are my own findings and opinions, please always check with your Doctor and significant others for advise and assistance where required.

INTRODUCTION TO PARENTING BLOG

Welcome to my first Blog post. I am so excited about this next ‘leg’ of my journey. I read amazing blogs often that have made a difference to me, so when deciding what I was going to ‘blog’ about my main aim was to write about an area I could really help people in. In my business this can be many and varied.


So in the end I decided to commit to the next few months of looking at Parenting. I will write from my own experience, as well as my knowledge. At the end of each ‘chapter’ I will interview someone I know who has had similar experiences in that area.


My plan is to write a couple of times a week. Each couple of weeks will cover each area I choose to share about parenting. The topics I have decided on are:


· New Parents
· Working Parents & ‘to work or not to work’ That Is The Questions!
· Parents of Tweens and Teens
· Single Parenting
· Parenting during separation
· Parenting of children with behavioural issues or presenting with challenges
· Parent guilt


Each topic will include looking at areas of:


· Communication
· Health and wellbeing
· Environment
· Resources
· Supportive relationships
· Values of all involved and how to bridge the ‘gaps’
· My experiences, errors in judgements and how I overcome and won
· Finding clarity and direction
· Coaching exercises


My desire is to provide parent/carer coaching for people looking to develop coping strategies to excel in parenting and care giving, as well as excel in their own life. In raising your awareness to your current situation and your needs you will find that you are better equipped to lead your child in a more positive and productive direction. In understanding yourself and developing new habits you will find a more fulfilling relationship developing with the children in your care as well as those around you.


· Would you like to understand your child?
· Would you like to feel more connection and harmony within your environment and those around you?
· Would you like to feel more satisfied and excited about all that you are doing and want to do?
· Would you like to feel heard and appreciated?
· Would you like to understand what is important to you and what is important to the children in your care then bridge the gap between the two?
· Would you like to be a champion for your child?


If you answered yes to any of these questions my blog is for you.


In no way do I present myself as the expert. I am a mother of 3 children, a nearly 2yr old boy, nearly 12 yr old girl and a 13 ½ year old boy. All are my most amazing achievements and my most influential teachers. All also have presented challenges overtime that I learnt to overcome.


I have been in a less that desirable marriage, been a single mother (at times successfully and at other times no so), now in a wonderful marriage (yes, got it right the 2nd time!). My oldest was my third pregnancy and born with complications that turned out to be related to chemical and food intolerances. My last was an IVF baby. My first was a c-section birth, next 2 natural (if that is what you call it!) births.


I look forward to sharing with you my thoughts, experiences, discoveries and findings.



Kirsty - http://www.unity-qld.com.au/