Understanding Non Verbal Communication

I recently did a video for Parents of challenging and difficult children. I mentioned in the video how important it was to be aware of non verbal communication from your child. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASZD1tuYv1YQ.
I have since been asked why is having an understanding of Non Verbal Communication so important? Here is a basic run down of what non verbal communication is.

The reason it is important to understand non verbal communication is that we gather more meaning from the messages and conversation from others through their tone of voice and body language than from the spoken word. Non verbal communication can account for upwards of 80% as to how the message is understood by the receiver.

Non verbal communication includes:-

. Tone of voice – e.g. angry, happy, excited, nervous
. Facial Expressions – e.g. frown, smile, twitch
. Gestures – e.g. waving, thumbs up, making a fist, pointing
. Posture – e.g. slouched, arms crossed, looking down, looking away
. Eye contact – e.g. looking to sides, eye rolling, overly staring, avoiding eye contact
. Personal space needs – e.g. uncomfortable distance apart, too far or too close

When we can translate non verbal signals as well as spoken words and check for congruency we are better able to fully understand others, who also may feel more heard. It is also helpful when assessing a the other persons current position and how we can be of most help to them right now.

There are also cultural differences in non verbal communication. If you are in the company of a person from another cultural background it is always helpful to research some of their cultures gestures. You may find what is considered ok for us is rude for them. You may also find personal space and eye contact has very different meanings for them.

Being an effective and successful communicator demands that we are perceptive and intuitive. These skills are perfected by our ability to read others body language and check that the spoken word and non verbal communication agrees with what is being said. When we get a ‘hunch’ or have a ‘gut feeling’ this is usually what we have ‘heard’ from non verbal queues of others.

Kirsty O'Callaghan
www.unity-qld.com.au